Splatterhouse Review

24 Dec 2010 at 01:01:45 by Tim McDonald
Systems used to review this title: (PS3)

Splatterhouse is trash. It is trash in almost every way imaginable, from the somewhat repetitive combat mechanics, to the overabundance of gore, to the unlockable naked pictures of the only female character in the game. The game knows it's trash. It revels in being trash, and in constantly one-upping itself in just how trashy it can be. And this, perhaps, it why it's so much bloody fun.

Splatterhouse is a reimagining of the late-80s/early-90s schlock-horror side-scrolling beat 'em up series which managed to cause a degree of controversy back then with what was, for the time, ludicrous ultraviolence. In the first in the series, protagonist Rick had no choice but to don the Terror Mask, an ancient – and undoubtedly evil – artifact that improved his strength and resilience, in order to battle his way through West Mansion to save his girlfriend Jennifer.

Cut to 2010, and Splatterhouse follows the same rough plot. Students Rick and Jennifer head to West Mansion to meet with Dr. Henry West, a professor of Necrobiology (and if the Lovecraft-inspired name didn't tip you off, his specialist subject should.) Thirty seconds after arriving Jennifer is abducted by West, while Rick gets pretty much torn in two by a throng of demonic creatures. Fortunately for those of us wanting a game lasting longer than thirty seconds, his death throes reveal an ancient white mask which calls out to him – and, upon donning it, his body not only regenerates but becomes gigantic and grotesquely muscled. Are you a bad enough dude to save Jennifer?

It occurs to me that. in the previous paragraph, I had to qualify “torn in two” with “pretty much.” The reason that I couldn't just let it stand - because living creatures are routinely, literally, and graphically torn in two throughout the game - should tell you pretty much all you need to know about the gore.

But that would be no fun, so we'll dwell on it some more once we've explained a bit about the game. Splatterhouse is, by and large, a third-person brawler: think Devil May Cry or God of War and you're not too far off. You've got the requisite light and heavy combos as well as grab moves, a rage mode (which makes Rick even bigger), and defensive capabilities like blocking and rolling. Killing creatures gets you blood, which can be spent on upgraded moves and combos, and the more brutally you dismember a creature, the more blood you get.

The more brutal executions come from the Splatterkill feature, which is a fancy way of saying “low health quick-time event.” Getting pretty much any foe in the game to low health gives them an inviting red glow; grabbing them in this state focuses in on Rick and the hapless creature, removes the background, and gives everything a lurid technicolor look - and then prompts you to waggle the analogue sticks or hammer buttons to rip its arms off/squash its head between your hands/tear its torso off/you get the picture.

“But Tim,” you cry. “We've played God of War and Mortal Kombat. We've seen really hideous dismemberment before. This can't be that over-the-top, surely?” Alas, reader, you are wrong. Let me put it this way: grabbing a foe – a move which does no damage whatsoever – results in a splash of blood on the floor. Hitting an enemy with a light punch daubs the floor, the walls, and the screen in red. After hammering the attack buttons for ten seconds... well, let's just say it can sometimes be difficult to see what's going on in the thick of battle. Rick's not immune to dismemberment either; various foes can slice off an arm, which can make combat a bit tricky. Fortunately, our protagonist isn't harmless while armless: you can pick up the dismembered limb and batter the hideous beasts to death with it while you wait for it to regenerate.

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