Naughty Bear Review

08 Jul 2010 at 10:20:40 by Lauren Wainwright
Systems used to review this title: (360)

Imagine a game where you experience the majority of what it has to offer within only the first ten minutes. Imagine, if you will, that each level was just the previous stage slightly tweaked each time. Can you guess what game I'm talking about yet? No, not Crackdown 2. Naughty Bear.

Okay, I'm being a little harsh but Naughty Bear originally looked quite promising. I thought I'd be playing something to the tune of Hitman but with a cast of cuddly, fuzzy teddy bears doing unimaginably horrible things to each other with knives and axes. What could go wrong with such a winning formula? A lot, as it turns out.

It starts out pretty well; the menus are quirky and adorable and it's styled to look fun and family friendly with a quick flash of sinister dead bears and a giant knife every few seconds before you muster up the courage to press start.

You have seven levels to explore. Each level is a rehash of the one before and it isn't long until this disappointing reality becomes very apparent. You are chucked into what you could call a "toddler's sandpit", small areas where you can do as you please, and each level is broken into three sections. After gaining enough naughty points by destroying windows, attacking other bears or burning presents, you unlock a door or bridge to another section in the same level, until you eventually reach your goal. The mission is to kill one of the other bears on the island that has a grudge against you for being so naughty. Which seems a little odd seeing that all the bears on Perfection Island are quite happy to pick up a weapon and beat you to death with it. But you can try to be stealthy and sabotage the other bears' houses, which make for some interesting environmental kills.  Throwing a bear on a BBQ fire, or smashing their heads into a electricity point as they're fixing the sabotaged object is great fun initially, and it helps to vary the more tedious killings.  But it's all about that one bear target...

Once you find your target, you murder it with whatever weapon you have picked up along the way. This means you spend a good 30 seconds hammering the attack button as other bears run to the rescue, call the police or even attempt to run away. Each time a bear attempts to escape your murderous rampage, by boat or car, you are given a timer to approach the target and kill them before they get away. Bears will also hide in cupboards which is highlighted by a video in the corner and removes any challenge of having to find your frightened victims.

In fact, that is one of many major faults in Naughty Bear. The game is so desperate to let you know who is doing what, thinking what and hiding location, rather than letting you work it out through mannerisms or audio cues. The screen is clustered with notices and reminders on what all the bears are doing. It's frustrating to concentrate when the HUD is going mental, updating every movement as if the islands threat level was amber.

The other problem is that the AI is completely unpredictable, resulting in the bears either being totally unaware of your presence even when approached, or being sent into a frenzy on sensing that you're in the same area as them. They call for back up, lunge at you with weapons and the only way you can get away from the situation is by jumping into the grass which results in the enemy AI almost immediately giving up the chase and returning to their normal bear lives. Partner this with a camera that has a mind of its own and you are dizzily mashing buttons in hope of salvaging the situation. You can auto-lock onto bears if the camera gets too mental, but entering buildings or turning corners can be a real hassle.

Giving up with strategy, you end up running around smashing the attack button, breaking windows, burning presents and desperately scoring as many points as you can to get through to the next round. Your efforts are rewarded with a new weapon, hat or challenge and access to the next stage, which is pretty much identical to the level you have just completed. There is no real drive to continue on, you've honestly seen it all after ten minutes.

Actually, the only major changes later on in the game are the AI becoming more and more aggressive with police and ninja bears constantly on the hunt and other bears being highly sensitive to your presence. The safe haven grass you originally escaped to is eventually stripped away and all you can do is hope you don't die.

The only real enjoyment to be had is for those who have dreamed of torturing teddy bears. It was a little disturbing to watch one bear smash an axe into another bear's face so violently, but the kill animations lack any real variety, with only one death move per weapon, you get used to it quickly. You can drive bears to suicide by teasing, scaring and harming them but it isn't as fun as it sounds on paper. Combine it with a fake-British announcer who screams out cheesy death related puns every few minutes was a grind on the ears, too.

Naughty Bear is a slow and laborious process that isn't worth the effort to progress. The premise is interesting but the execution is so far from that, that it's almost unsettling to see how developers Artificial Mind and Movement got it so wrong. With clunky controls, a broken camera and repetitive gameplay, Naughty Bear's only real crime is how much he is charging to experience the whole ordeal.

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