C&C4: Joe Kucan Q&A

02 Sep 2009 at 13:35:00 by Tim McDonald

EA's special surprise guest to close off the first day of CommandCom was none other than Joe Kucan, the actor/director who portrays Kane in Command & Conquer's Tiberium saga. Following a bit of opening banter in which Kucan basically told all in attendance that they'd be killing each other for a chance to play multiplayer tomorrow, he was opened up to questions from the fans in attendance, which we've helpfully transcribed for you here – but not before a pre-emptive apology...

Questions, statements, or actions made by anyone other than Kucan are bolded. Everything Kucan says or does is in plaintext.

JOE KUCAN: Before whatever happens is going to happen, or whatever you expect to do, I wanna just apologise for all the things I'm going to say because I'm really, really tired. As you guys all know at these conventions, I haven't slept in about 72 hours, so I'm operating on fumes – like, probably, most of you. So honestly, anything I say, I'm really, really sorry.

[EA's APOC opens Kucan up to questions from the audience]

Do you like Belgian chocolates?

Sorry?

Do you like Belgian chocolates?

Oh, right! Who doesn't like Belgian chocolates?

I have some for you.

Ohhhh!

[Room breaks into applause as Kucan receives a beautiful box from a fan]

I hope it's full of Belgian chocolates. That's perfect. Thank you very much. All your other questions had better be as good as this one! We've started this off really really well, so just for the record, the answer is yes, I like Belgian chocolates, but I also like Ferraris, I like Armani slacks, I like iPhones... I'm not saying nothing, I'm just saying!

How's the mime career going?

The mime career? [Laughs] Since this is going to be the end of the Tiberium saga in Command &  Conquer, I will be going back to my work as a park mime. So I'll shave the goatee, put on the white face, and lean against the wind [mimes], or I'll be trapped in a box [mimes]. Yeah, I'll probably starve to death. So mime career, not so good. Anybody else? And I'd like to point out that that question does not actually involve giving me anything, so, boo. Boo! No more questions? Excellent! Goodnight! Oh. Yes sir?

What shampoo do you use for that illustrious long hair?

My beautiful long locks? Look, you have not seen the hair on my back, which is - you wanna see it? [begins taking jacket off] – which is remarkably long, extraordinarily manageable, curly, and just lovely. My girlfriend just likes to walk barefoot through it.

I use whatever's on sale, my friend. And it's true, I do use shampoo to shave my head. I do not care for shaving cream, it dries my skin. I use shampoo because there's a little bit of oil in it, it's pH balanced, it's made for cleaning your scalp. Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry! I should've mentioned – Shampoo is a cleaning product that one uses in one's hair. In America.

Sorry! [Laughs] Like I said before, earlier, remember - I'm really, really sorry. There was a question over here?

Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi. Duh.

[Something is mumbled by the questioner]

Oh my God, did you say? Okay, alright. The honest answer to that one is Pepsi One, and Coke Zero. I like them both equally. Honestly.

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