MMO Weekly 14/04

Ahoy there, fellow sojourners in virtual space, and welcome to this week's ever-so-friendly edition of MMO Weekly.  In this week's write-up, we'll forsake (at least for the most part) all that semi-androgynous fantasy stuff that so pervades MMO-space, and instead explore the vastness of the universe.  Ah, space, where men are men, women are women, and there's not a girly-boy elf or irritatingly adolescent halfling anywhere to be found.  Unless, of course, you consider the Vulcans to be space elves.  I mean, c'mon – they're tall, skinny, wise, pointy-eared, have a superior attitude, live extremely long lives, they love art and music and, with fair regularity, cross breed with humans.  Was there any question in your mind? 

Since anyone who is averse to my shiny new space-elf theory probably gave up on this article a couple of sentences ago, I'll assume the rest of you are in this for the long haul.  Besides, who wants to hear me prattle on about how the Romulans are really just drow, how the Borg are just the space version of the mind-controlled hordes of Sauron, how Episode IV is really just the Wizard of Oz in space (R2D2 is Toto, by the way), how Alien is identical to virtually every horror movie ever made, and how Riddick is really just Conan.  Having said all that, let's move onward and upward, and explore the blackness of the void!

This week our good friends over at NetDevil released a 'making of' developer commentary regarding their upcoming space-based MMO, Jumpgate Evolution.  Dev commentaries, in general, tend to be pretty darned dry affairs, and they're often hard to watch.  Although technically they're videos about their hot new title, they don't show much other than game developers doing a lot of talking, often about the most boring aspect of their game.  You know the drill: “Hi, I'm Bo Ringassguy, senior lead design director for BlahBlahBlah Online, and let me tell you about the crafting system in our game...”  While Mr. Ringassguy drones on, the background behind him changes once every seven seconds to show a new piece of concept art.  Wowee, how thrilling.  It's obvious they're giving you the bare minimum necessary to keep you watching.  In fact, the only thing worse than watching a typical dev commentary or dev walkthrough is any video involving 1) John Romero, or 2) watching paint dry.     

I must say, this Jumpgate vid turned out to be surprisingly good.  Heck, I watched it twice, and I have the attention span of a amoeba. The featured developer – producer Herman Peterscheck – proved to be an interesting guy, utterly devoted to his craft.  His description of the inspiration behind Jumpgate had me hooked: he said the game was inspired by games like X-Wing vs Tie Fighter, and the Wing Commander games.  He also threw in some references to the dogfights in the Star Wars movies, and Battlestar Galactica.  The gameplay would, of course, be updated from those 80s and 90s classic games, and the graphics would be brought into the 21st century, but the big hook is that you get to play online with 2000 of your friends. 

I've got to admit, he had my full attention at that point. 

It may be because I'd just had a conversation with my brother about the X-Wing series of games.  We talked about X-Wing, Tie Fighter, the B-Wing expansion, X-Wing vs Tie Fighter, and the other games in the series.  We recalled, fondly, the missions that seemed impossible, but were finally overcome.   We talked about the ships we unlocked, our favorites fighters from both the Empire and the rebellion, how the games improved over time, and we went on and on.   And then we wondered why no one is making these games any longer.  There's a noticeable absence of space fighter sims.     

Of course, the next day these NetDevil dudes release a video promising that Jumpgate Evolution is, basically, going to be X-Wing online.  Bastards.  The practically instilled a desire for their damned game in me, and didn't give me a chance to say no.  Like a little Pavlovian dog, I salivated when they rang their bell.  Don't they realize that they're psychologically forcing me to buy their game?

And then, it got worse.  They didn't just show some concept art for Jumpgate – the game is way too far along for that – they showed us some hot-ass video while Mr. Developer was chatting away.  Much of it was previously unreleased footage, and damn, it looked great.  I'd seen some Jumpgate footage before, and even seen the closed beta live at some game con or other, but something about this video really grabbed me.  I can only imagine that it has a new polish to it now, something it lacked before, and it's making this game look oh-so-pretty.  What's more, the gameplay looks smokin' – big snarls of fighter ships, all turning, twisting, shooting, firing missiles, and blowing both each other and larger, capital ships to smithereens.  I like smithereens, especially when I'm not the one being blown into them.    

The video itself can be found here, and there's no question it's worth your time.  It's a long one (several delicious minutes, which will fly by so fast you won't notice), but it's chock full of information.  It also contains the previously mentioned inspirational clips of game play, and will fill you with the same, angsty lust that you had for your 10th grade maths teacher, Ms. Hautepants.  Oh, don't deny it, you know who I'm talking about.  She'd was new, she'd just-graduated from college, and you knew that somehow, you'd be able to convince her to leave her football star boyfriend and run away with you.  Well, this video will fill you with that same ill-advised, adolescent desire for Jumpgate.  Sorta.  Mmmm mmmm mmmm, just check it out, and you'll see what I mean.

In other space-related MMO news, Star Wars: The Old Republic has just released some new information about Ord Mantell.  It's an industrial planet, torn apart by civil war (wait...is there anyplace in the Star Wars universe that's not torn apart by civil war?).  It's the Republic versus the separatists, and the Sith stick their noses into this business as well.  They've included some screenshots and concept art, to give players a feel for this new location.  There's also a nice lore update, for those of you who are into that kind of studious geekery.  Like everything else about TOR, this looks sharp.

And while this isn't strictly MMO related, it flows nicely from the last bit: how about owning your very own landspeeder, just like Luke Skywalker.  A clever young eBayer named NextLevel 525 has hand crafted one, and it's identical to the original.  Since NextLevel525 couldn't figure out a way to make it float on air, however, this one is powered by a modified golf cart.  Still, it's a sweet ride, and it can be yours for a mere $4500.

And with that last geeky bit, my fellow gamers, we have to wrap up this week's edition of MMO Weekly.  If you found this horridly amateurish attempt at journalism entertaining, 1) please consult your psychologist, and 2) immediately ignore his advice and visit us over at WanderingGoblin.com, where we cover this kind of nonsense each and every day.  For now, ciao!