Gaming And Relationships

01 Mar 2010 at 00:00:00 by Bill Vaughan

A major hurdle many gamers face on a daily basis isn't what one might expect; It's not the lack of decent games, or even the lack of time to play them in most cases, though that can be an issue too, but rather the reactions of others.

Gamers still have to endure the stigma attached to the hobby, the one that insinuates we're all no-hopers, geeks, lazy and/or lacking the ability to take care of our personal hygiene, to name a few. But the opinions of a dwindling bunch of narrow-minded people won't stop us enjoying games, and we persevere. Until one of those narrow-minded types happens to be the person we share our lives with.

Whether the guilty party is a partner or a parent, the simple act of switching on your console or PC can sometimes cause trouble at home. Perhaps this scenario is familiar; You get home from work/school/a day out, do all your designated tasks, then sit down to relax by spending an hour or three on that game you've really been enjoying. However, your [insert nature of relationship here] has other plans, and immediately jumps down your throat for shirking responsibilities or not wanting to spend quality time with them. I can understand it, if they're not into gaming themselves it may seem like you're shutting them out, withdrawing into a world of your own but, to us, gaming is just another form of entertainment.

Many a relationship has been torn apart because a gamer won't give up their hobby, or a partner refuses to accept that gaming is important, so what's the alternative, to settle down with someone who tolerates the activity?

Seems like a wise choice, but this isn't as easy as it sounds. When you start dating someone, gaming sometimes takes a back seat while things are new, but re-emerges later on. Non-gamers might be fine with new partners who spend one evening a week or so engrossed in the latest shooter, action game or MMO, but when the routine changes back to three for four nights a week, they'd be fair in thinking that this wasn't what they signed up for.

So how about dating other gamers? Well, there are definitely more of us nowadays than ten years or so ago, but if you're really into your gaming, I'm talking a five to six nights a week kind of person, you might be hard pushed to find someone locally who matches your dedication. Fortunately, the world's a smaller place now thanks to the internet, and meeting similarly-minded people, especially online, isn't too hard. You just have to be careful to avoid the weirdy ones.

I personally know two long-term gamer couples who met online and are now blissfully happy, PC's lined up next to each other and gaming together every night. But, surprisingly, the idea of a gaming partner isn't to all gamer's tastes, and it can also cause further issues. I was shocked, last week, when a friend of mine spurned the very idea of getting together with another gamer. This guy spends several hours a day playing different games, outside of his full-time job, but he thought that having a gaming girlfriend would be a nightmare.

He pointed out that, unless they had two of each console and two of each game, they wouldn't be able to enjoy the latest releases together, instead, they'd be arguing over who got to play the game first. In an MMO situation, and I can vouch for this, it's certainly fun to have that levelling partner – for a while. But when the initial novelty wears off, and you've clashed over where to go or what to do next for the hundredth time, and maybe you didn't heal when you should have or used Divine Intervention or whatever at the right moment, your in-game arguments can become real-life rifts.

Ok, this is worst case scenario, but you have to consider it from all angles, right? Or do you?

I find that relationships just kinda happen, and if you try to find someone that meets certain criteria, you may be looking for a long time. If you're simply open from the start about your hobby, perhaps try to get your new partner into the activity as well, you can avoid many problems later down the line. You might think you've struck gold if you meet someone who likes the same games as you and spends as much time playing them, however, they might have a rubbish personality.

But who knows, while you're out and about you might even find a non-gamer who makes you think twice about how to spend your free time.

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