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PDC WC Darts UNPLAYED

11 Sep 2008  by   Paul Younger
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Before we continue, we’d like to make it clear that LeeTharjick is his own entity and that the views portrayed in thisarticle, are the thoughts of Lee Tharjick and not that ofIncGamers. With that in mind, we feel we cannot restrict Lee’screativity by putting boundries on how he works, so we accept him forthat and hope you do too.For more information on why we’ve decided to use Lee, then please click here.It’s not a good week for me. The IncGamers management really let loose on me last week. Apparently I’m “too aggressive” and “too offensive”. They want me to cut back on the swearing. Of course I’m going to swear if I get given shitty games. Need I remind you that I had to play that stupid eco-friendly DS thing last week? Now I’ve been given pretty much the opposite.

It’s destruction in a venue, it’s male bravado without compromise, it’s unhealthy and it’s associated with “larger than life” people. I am, of course, talking about darts. ly PDC orld0Cha yeoDl%. rI m, mpionship Darts.

I haven’t even opened the case. There is a case of alcohol though, and that’s been opened and violated. And in the spirit of things, I’ve decided to drink like a darts player. I’ve even created a dartboard collage of family members, IncGamers management and Angelina Jolie.

But the game, well, really, who the f** is going to play that? Also, I don’t have a PC anymore. I sold it to pay off the phone bill. Those chat lines are more than expensive. It was the Japanese bird that cost me the most.

The front cover is plastered with fat men doing some kind celebration w** dance. Either that or it’s the American Convention for Pie Eating. They’ve all got their mouths wide open and look like they’ve spent too long with the monkey and not long enough with their better whole. Half is an understatement.

The game boasts a character editor, which allows you to “create your own darts champion.” I’m not creating anything of the sort. And if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be a dart champion. If I could create anything it’d probably be Jolie, and I’d use her as a window to the dartboard.

Because it’s ‘the official product of the PDC world darts championship” I thought I’d call the PDC up and ask them why they thought the game would be attractive to anyone.

“Hi, I’d like to know why you think this will be a good game.”
“We saw that the game was quite successful when it was released back in 2006, and now with the Wii control system, it brings another aspect of realism to the game.”
“What about training the toned, darts athletes? Will we be able to get involved in their drinking training regimes?”
“No no, not in the game, but you are free to do that yourself.”
“I’ve already had two crates of beer and on bottle of red…do you think it’s enough?”
Silence.
“Was this game your idea?”?
“No, we were approached by Oxygen.”
“But you think this game will be a hit?”
“From previous sales, and with the Wii version, we know it will be.”
“Any plans for other console releases?”
“We’re looking at the 360 at the moment.”
So, ultimately, if you’re looking for a reason to get drunk, this could be your answer. I suggest a collage dartboard, a few drinks and some very sharp knives. Alternatively you could go out in Bradford for the night, that might get you the same result.

I’ll give it 8/10.

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